The crucial point here is this, you do have control. Yet during stressful or busy times, feeling in control may seem like a distant memory, particularly when others are at the receiving end of your re-active behaviour. You may not realise this, but we are hard wired to react defensively, mother-nature ensured that we came equipped with a survival system, so that should we perceive a threat, our chances of survival are increased.
Think of our ancestors going about their day either trying to fight or run from a woolly mammoth or sabre-toothed tiger. Now that you’ve got the picture, this system which is inherently a part of our human make-up is more commonly known as the fight/flight, or stress response. It is what our body does as it prepares to confront or avoid danger.
Thankfully, in today's world a physical threat like that of our ancestors is unlikely, however, there are a lot of people who live day to day rushing about the place, often with an all-consuming sense of worry, stress and overwhelm, and whilst there may not be a physical threat present, our nervous system cannot tell the difference between a real physical threat or a psychological one.
Money worries, job stress, relationship difficulties, traffic jams, starting a new job/business, getting married, moving home, etc, can all trigger this survival system. In fact, of the several times I go to my kids sports events, I see many parents and sport coaches get wound up when watching their kids compete in a game. And here is where the problem arises - when this all-natural system is triggered frequently, trouble often comes knocking at your mental and physical doors.